User talk:Infinite
Permanent leave and final words[edit]
Dear wiki,
It has obviously come to your attention that I have been inactive until further notice. This is said further notice: I am permanently leaving GW2W and my position as sysop.
Back in the wiki's infantile days, I've worked hard and with much enthusiasm to progress the wiki's core mechanics and content into a foundation of solid information, templates, categories, and guidelines. Of course I was not alone in this, so my thoughts also go out to those who've given their own time and energy to realise these things the way they have. Honestly, I have no idea what is even left of it all. But I know one thing. I know that I do not regret even a single moment spent here.
When I first arrived onto the wiki scene (on the original GWW), it was a pure form of escapism and a search for appreciation. A counterweight to my personal life at that time. I wasn't very good, but I helped where I could. Doing so eventually led me to become a more.. vocal user. I joined discussions, trains of thought, I offered help to projects, and so on. This made me feel appreciated. It boosted my confidence, as lame as that may appear to be. It helped, and I liked it. Eventually I grew into a key user for the GW2W community. April Fools', main page designs, overhauling the whole of the root category, I've been virtually everywhere I could be of service. And all of that, in time, led to the change of the administrator list. The community revised and removed inactive administrators and then went to find new ones. I was one of the nominated users for a sysop seat. The fact that we hadn't a lot of nominations, and the fact that the majority of the then-current community seemed to want me to accept, I accepted the nomination. This led to unanimous support, I became a sysop. But I never truly wanted to be a sysop, in fairness. It was just a place-holder position until we could find someone more dedicated to being an actual sysop. I cared for the wiki, its users, and its content, but I didn't want to add any form of tools or powers to my account in the process. I knew users who did want this chance, but they didn't get the opportunity to do so. The wiki started to lose contributors left and right after that. Valuable users who had always been there. They left, and so did my enthusiasm to edit and maintain. Ultimately, the game itself was released. It drowned most of the contributors until they'd resurface to continue editing the wiki. I was captivated by the quality of the game. Blissfully unaware of what the game actually turned out to be. Mindless grind, devoid of real challenge. Wrapped in a beautiful package of shiny. I lost interest in the game and the wiki. The longer I drained myself from energy by conforming to the game's grind, the more I hesitated returning to the wiki actively. I took my temporary leave via Twitter, and my spot on the admin list went red. And soon after that, I quit Guild Wars 2. I am logging in today to update my final tally on my user page. A memory of my achievement, the time I endured online. It will be my last time logging in, unless ArenaNet decides to bring the magic of Tyria back. I don't foresee this happening. After that's done, I will delete various of my old user pages, and then finally submit this comment on my talk page. I then ask of you to not leave any more comments or messages here for me to read, because I will not be back to reply or glance at them.
Specifically, I'd like to say thank you to those whom I needn't name. The people I have met via this (and the previous) wiki, and still converse with on a near-daily basis. The acquaintances I've gotten to know. And the people who've brought negative events into my life that I've learned and grown stronger of. It's because of you that I am a better person today and that I can carefully close this chapter of my life. Thank you for walking parallel to me while I navigated my way out of my right miserable life, and into a bright present. You've done it, and will continue to do this without your very knowledge of doing so. The strong, but still often confused and lonely person that I am is ever grateful for this stage of my life. The wiki will not miss me. Some users might, but they'll know where to find me. It's not a moment of loss. Simply moving on. Today, I close a chapter within my life, to leave it behind me and cherish its memories forever. Today Infinite will become finite.
Much love and much success,
In finite
