Skritt IQ Test Subject

Skritt IQ Test Subject

Race

Skritt

Level

7

Location

Voloxian Passage
(Metrica Province)

Skritt IQ Test Subjects are skritt being tested by the Brill Alliance Labs. Speaking to them will help progress the Help Brill Alliance study the skritt renown heart task.

Location

Maguuma Jungle

• Metrica Province
  • Voloxian Passage

Dialogue

Yes? Why you looking at me? Don't have shinies for you.

I've got to test your intelligence.

Tests! Hate tests. Okay, fine.

How many are in a dozen?

How many what?

Guess not. When red and blue are combined, what color do they make?

Uhh, don't know.

All right, then. Explain to me what you DO know. Just...everything you know.

Everything...

Test completed.

You know, I've changed my mind.

Well, then. Guess I'd better go.

If Asura

Why you here? Stinky feet. Go home.

Tell me, you pancretin, what drives the Eternal Alchemy.

Gibberish! Gibberish! Ack!

Hm. What magical force radiates enigmodic waves?

You scare me. You scare me big. Shoo!

Okay, an easy one then. How many zigoneutrons fit in a magilectron?

Ahhhhhhhh

I'm sensing a trend here.

I give up.

Farewell, genus rodentia. I think you've answered my question.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

You look smart. Oh, no... no more smarts!

When combined, what does molten steel and pyroclastic material become?

Pypopaclass...pycrosass...uhh, food. Yes?

No. Okay, this one's easier: at what temperature does rock liquefy?

At temperature very, very hot.

No! This is stupid. We should just freeze-dry skritt and sell them to charr as snacks.

Noooooo! Skritt not cat food!

Yeah. Wallow in that thought for a while.

I can't subject myself to this idiocy.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

I help you? You want to talk?

I am here to analyze your cognitive abilities.

What? What do you want?

I'm assessing your capacity for sophisticated communication with other species.

Ah! No! Hurts my ears! Use littler words!

Very well. To what extent are you able to infer my meaning?

Guh! Ow!

Those were smaller words!

I'll come back later.

Never mind.

Ahhh! Not more questions. why? Why? Did questions yesterday.

Because we have to monitor you lab skritts. Now, question number one-

So, yes more questions or no more questions?

Did you not hear me just say, "Now, question number one"?

So is that the first question? Or no questions? Or yes questions? Very confusing.

That was merely my reprising of the prelude to the first question. Which is-

No questions. Yes questions. No questions. Yes questions. No...oops, naptime.

I think you just debunked the skritt exponential intelligence theory.

I just realized, there are plenty of other skritt here I can quiz. Good-bye.

Good question. Let me get back to you on that.

I answer right, you give me treat? It good deal.

Do you know what this is called?

Eh? What you talking about?

This, right here. You're looking at it.

Floppy-ears lies! Nothing is there!

This, right here, is called an air molecule.

You...there's...no!

And that concludes today's lesson.

On second thought, I have better things to do.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

What? What? Very busy. Busy standing.

Let's test your intelligence quotient. Say I want to find the square root of 36-

Want to find...uh, roots...dirty sticks..." There, done.

How do I know you're not just feigning imbecility to invalidate my data?

I, um...I...oh, no! You seen my fingers? Think. Think. Think. What was last place I remember seeing them? Nose? No, not there.

You truly believe you've misplaced you phalanges?

Ooo, hooo hooo! Funny word! Flangees! Hoo hoo hoo! Flangees! Flangees! Flangees! Funny! Flangees!

Okay, I see no reason to move on to these questions about metaphysics, then.

I think we're done here.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

What do you want? What, what?

I believe you're masking your true intelligence. I shall expose your deception.

Huh? What? Expose what?

I intend to discredit your contrived mendacity through my verbal dexterity.

Ouch. My head. Stop the head hurtie talk.

Your subterfuge of incognizance will erode under my fulgent dupery.

Uh...uh...uh...

Mission accomplished.

Farewell, genus rodentia. I think you've answered my question.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

If not asura

I answer right, you give me treat? It good deal.

I will now attempt to read your mind! There. All done.

What? No! You can't read minds. It not possible!

I just did, and I saw everything. All your thoughts.

No, it not possible! If you read my mind, what you see there, hmm? What you see?

Shinies.

(gasp) You read miiiinds!

Hah, telepathy isn't real. You fail.

I've glimpsed the future! And it's not here. Bye.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

What do you want? What, what?

I just want to see how smart you are.

Oh, smart. Smart smart. Wait, smart?

Tell me, what is five plus five?

Numbers!

Not exactly what I was looking for. How about one plus one?

Uh...uh...uh...numbers!

Okay, just for fun - what's the cube rute of the radius of the hypotenuse?

Ouch.

Yep, that was fun.

I think that answers my question. Thanks.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

Ahhh! Not more questions. Why? Why? Did questions yesterday.

Let's say apples cost 10 coins each and I have 60 coins in my pocket-

Shinies! Shinies in pocket! Give me shinies in pocket! Give give.

We'll try something different. Dolyak A leaves the Muridian Uplands heading east-

Shinies! Shinies in pocket! Give me shinies! Pocket shinies! Shinies, shinies, shinies, shinies!

I don't have any shinies in my pocket! None! Zero! Zilch!

Ooooh, Then, no apples.

This is probably a good time to take a break.

I'll just return when you've regained your focus.

Good question. Let me get back to you on that.

You look smart. Oh, no... no more smarts!

How long does it take spoiled milk to solidify?

Yuck! Who would eat spoiled milk?

Do you know what moldy, solid milk is called?

Oh, oh! I know this one. It's yuck, right?

No. It's cheese.

Hrrkkk!

I just blew your mind.

I think that answers my question.

(If norn)

How many ounces are in a pint of ale?

Oh, uh, yes. I mean, no. No! I mean, fifteen.

Close. How many ounces are in a NORN pint of ale?

Herp, daah. Hnff, erk...thirty!

Not quite. Now imagine a mug of ale. Is it half empty or half full?

Ahhhh! No more, no more!

I think that went well.

I'm suddenly thirsty. Good-bye.

I can already see that I'm wasting my time.

If not human or asura

I help you? You want to talk?

I just want to see how smart you are.

You want what? Oh! Yes, yes.

How many sides does a triangle have?

Uh...urk...sides?

Okay, let's try something easier. Which is a metal: copper or strawberries?

You're asking about shinies? Ahhhh...don't understand.

All right. Explain the difference between a bush and a tree.

Ahhh!

That was informative.

I'll try again later.

Never mind.

If not charr or asura

What? What? Very busy. Busy standing.

Hello, I'm <Character name> and I'm going to test your IQ. Tell me, how old are you?

Um, oh...need a hint. No! Wait! Wait! How about...no, not it either...Um...easier question.

It doesn't get much easier than that but how about "What's your name?"

Uh, ummmm...still too hard. Easier!

Okay, I'm just wasting my time here, aren't I?

Ooooo, hardest one yet.

I'm going to jot down here for IQ...none discernible.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

If not sylvari or asura

Why you here? Stinky feet. Go home.

Time to test that noggin of yours.

Don't hit my noggin! No bamming allowed!

No bamming. Just answer this question. How do you spell "dragon"?

How do you spell "dragon"?

Answer. Not repeat. Tell me how you spell "dragon".

Spell dragon with magic rod?

Let's try something different. If there are two dragons here, and two on the way, how-

Aiiiiieeeeeee!

Gotcha.

I' give up.

I give up.

Time for me to go.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

If sylvari

Why you here? Stinky feet. Go home.

Let's see how smart you are. What am I?

A flower!

No. I'm not. What am I?

A flower!

No, Now, try again. What am I? Think this time.

Ummmm...an angry flower?

Aaargh!

Gah!

I'm done here.

I'm done here.

I'm done here.

I'm done here.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

If charr

What? What? Very busy. Busy standing.

I hope you're smarter than you smell. What direction am I facing right now?

Um...that way. See? Smart. Very smart.

(growl) Okay, what's the name of the internal organ just below the esophagus?

Easy! Tree!

Tree? Tree! (ROAR) And I'm about to show you mine...from the inside!

Uh-oh. I swooned.

You're still smarter than you smell.

I think that answers my question. Thanks.

I can already see I'm wasting my time.

If human

I help you? You want to talk?

I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Oh! Questions! Ask.

What is the function of a plow?

Plow? Is plow an animal?

Uh, no. Who is Queen Jennah?

Asura...important...person?

Let's try logic. Two humans and four charr want to cross a river in a boat. If-

No!

I see.

On second thought, maybe not.

Never mind.

Yes? Why you looking at me? Don't have shinies for you.

What happens when water and lumispeck powder combine?

Don't like that question.

What element causes immediate failure in an aero-volcaniphine?

Really don't like that question!

Describe the structure of a...never mind. Just explain metaenergy transfer or something.

These questions are awful!

Clearly, your intellect is lacking.

I suspect this won't go well. Good-bye.

Well, then. Guess I'd better go.

Notes

• They will cycle through different conversations if you talk to each Skritt in turn. Which conversations you get depends on your race, with several race-specific conversations (mostly for Asura), and many that are common to a few races.